1
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,640
Someone's here to see you.

2
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,840
Really?

3
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,240
It's Gibby!

4
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,600
I am Gibby.

5
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,080
Er, hi, Gibby.

6
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,280
Well, come in, come in.

7
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,960
Can you believe it? It's Gibby.

8
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:00,760
You are the Jonny?

9
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,120
Er, yup.

10
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,640
And you are the Adam.
Or just "Adam".

11
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,240
I am the Gibby.

12
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,320
OK.

13
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,840
What an amazing surprise, eh, boys?

14
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,240
Yes, it would be if we...

15
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,680
UNDER HIS BREATH:
..knew who she was.

16
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,920
What? Don't be silly.

17
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,200
It's Gibby.

18
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,960
To them I am a mystery.

19
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,720
Oh.

20
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,640
Oh, Gibby?

21
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,200
Oh, why were you
so horrible to Gibby?

22
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,520
What?  Who's Gibby?

23
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,760
I am Gibby.

24
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,520
Who, is she?
She's your bloody au pair.

25
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,240
So, we have an au pair now, do we?
I'll get the potty.

26
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,240
Not now, stupid, your old au pair.

27
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,560
She's come to visit.  Old au pair?

28
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,800
Yes, you were four,
and Jonny was a baby.

29
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,880
From Switzerland? Liked animals?

30
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,920
Used to cry quite a lot.

31
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,280
The memory of me, it has vanished.

32
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,560
What? Of course the memory
of you hasn't vanished.

33
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,320
BOTH:  The memory of you
hasn't vanished.

34
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,760
There we are.

35
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,720
I am Gibby.

36
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,760
Oh, my God.

37
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,840
Come though, darling.

38
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:11,880
Well, did they remember her?

39
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,880
GIBBY CRIES

40
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,400
She seems stable.

41
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,080
Oh, why did you have to
say anything?

42
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,200
What?

43
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,800
KNOCKS ON DOOR
Gibby?

44
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,280
Excuse me,
I am using the facilities.

45
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,000
She's using the facilities?

46
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,680
URINATING

47
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,520
She's using the facilities.

48
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,240
Well, they're obviously
excellent facilities.

49
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,360
She's still in there?  Shhh.

50
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,600
But who just turns up?
Stop it, will you?

51
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,600
So, how long's she staying?
Five bleeding nights.

52
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,680
All right, Martin.

53
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,200
Ah, five nights
with a total nutjob.

54
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,720
She's not a nutjob.

55
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,160
No, he said "total nutjob".
MARTIN LAUGHS

56
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,560
Martin.

57
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,920
She's just a little emotional.

58
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,360
Gibby was always a little
emotional, wasn't she, Martin?

59
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,240
A little emotional?

60
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,360
Oh, she was so sweet,
she used to love it here.

61
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,000
And you know, she's already
asked about having a cream tea.

62
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,240
JACKIE LAUGHS
Only 40 bloody times.

63
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,880
Sorry, having a cream tea?

64
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,640
What? Like scones and cream and jam?

65
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,040
Yeah. Don't you remember?

66
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,920
Gibby used to go to the
hotel round the corner,

67
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,280
and have a cream tea every day.

68
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,840
Every day she had a cream tea?

69
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,240
And you let this woman look
after your children, did you?

70
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,240
For a whole year.  Very good.

71
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,720
While she worked her way
through 365 cream teas.

72
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,200
Stop it.

73
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,880
She just tried one once,
and was, you know, hooked.

74
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,880
Total nutjob.

75
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,080
Shut up.

76
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,320
You used to adore her,
Adam, adore her.

77
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,880
All right.  I return.

78
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,160
Oh. There you are, love.
Everything OK now?

79
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,960
Yes. The facilities,
they are clean.

80
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,480
Oh. Great.

81
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,600
I sit in the vicinity of the boys?

82
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,280
Um.

83
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,200
The vicinity.

84
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,560
Aw, Gibby and our little babies.

85
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,240
Smile!

86
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,840
CLICK
Mum.  Ah, lovely.

87
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,040
Aw.

88
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,600
And now we go for the cream tea?

89
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,840
Christ.

90
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,120
Er, not now, Gibby, OK?

91
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,640
But, you are saying the old hotel,

92
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,800
it is still providing
the cream teas?

93
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,240
Yes, but we'll get a cream
tea another day.

94
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,360
Oh.

95
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,880
Gibby is very sad.

96
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,520
Um. Gibby's also visiting
some of the other families

97
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,600
she worked for all those years ago.

98
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,480
Isn't that...  Weird?

99
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,480
Yes, I am performing all the visits.

100
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,560
The family Sullivan, they is nice.

101
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,400
The family Goodman,
they is very nice.

102
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,800
Ooh.

103
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,840
The family Carter,
they is the best family.

104
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,600
Um, right.

105
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,920
But they is dead.

106
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,000
DOORBELL RINGS
I'm getting that.

107
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,720
What he said.  Yup.

108
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,720
Hello, boys and man.

109
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,520
ALL:  Hi.  All right, Jim?

110
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,280
No, I'm not all right, actually.

111
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,320
Really?  I'm wounded.

112
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,920
JONNY AND ADAM:  Wounded?

113
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,080
Oh, God, Jim, come in.

114
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,520
Thank you, Martin.

115
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,880
Come no, Milson. Get up there.

116
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,320
Oh, uh, uh.

117
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,920
That's it.

118
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,920
Where's your wound?

119
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,160
Here.

120
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,000
That's your wound?

121
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,360
I don't have any plasters you see.

122
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,920
And what if a dirty microbe
got inside the wound

123
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:28,000
and travelled all
the way down to my organs?

124
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,080
Your organs?

125
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,360
Yes, my kidneys, my livers.

126
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,640
You only have one liver, Jim.

127
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,920
I only have one liver now?

128
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,000
Everything all right?

129
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,680
Jim's lost one of his livers.
Huh?

130
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,640
Do you have a plaster, Jackie?

131
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,680
I have a terrible, gaping wound.

132
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,320
God.  Jonny, get a plaster.

133
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,120
Go on, Puss-face.  Ugh.  Jonny.

134
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,200
A man und a dog,
they is in the house.

135
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,520
MILSON WHINES

136
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,800
Um, Jim, this is Gibby.

137
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,000
It's Gibby.

138
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,040
The dog, it is large.

139
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,320
Is it?

140
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,560
Um, Gibby's from Switzerland.

141
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,360
In Switzerland, the dogs
of the mountain,

142
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,440
they is as large as wolves.

143
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,240
Wolves?

144
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,320
Er, Gibby was our au pair.

145
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,360
A pear?  Right.

146
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,560
Auf wiedersehen.

147
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,600
JACKIE: Er, thank you.

148
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,040
Plaster.  Thanks, Bobble.

149
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,800
Jim, do you want me
to do it for you, or?

150
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,920
Can Gibby do my plaster?

151
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,040
OK.

152
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:37,000
One, two...  Ah, ah!  ..it is done.

153
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,080
Good boy.

154
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,520
Good girl.

155
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,400
Und now I must use the facilities.

156
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,880
Jackie, might I
also use the facilities?

157
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,880
Jim, Gibby's using the loo.

158
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,880
URINATING

159
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,440
Yes, Gibby's using the loo.

160
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,400
Goodbye, Jim.

161
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,160
Oh, yes, come on Milson.

162
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,760
Yes, Switzerland...

163
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,960
Ugh.  Has Professor Bonkers gone?

164
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,680
Martin.  What?

165
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,600
Jim fancies Gibby.

166
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,560
Shit on it.

167
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,040
Can't we just start?  Shhh.

168
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,560
What's she still doing in there?

169
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,200
Rebuilding the facilities?
MESSAGE TONE

170
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,360
Oh, Jim, not again.

171
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,440
What's he want now?

172
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:30,040
"Is Gibby warm enough in the house?"

173
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,040
Seriously?
He met her for one minute.

174
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,160
He's bloody obsessed with her.

175
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,680
MESSAGE TONE
Oh.  Another one?

176
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:39,200
"Please ensure Gibby has easy
access to fresh water."

177
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,440
Boys, get the hosepipe.

178
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,840
Yeah, and strangle me with it.
JACKIE LAUGHS

179
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,040
I return.

180
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,520
Um, great.

181
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,240
Everything OK now?

182
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,960
Yes. My body, it is emptied.

183
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,360
How nice.

184
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,880
Right, tuck in, everyone.
JACKIE LAUGHS

185
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,040
Ooh, and there's still about
900,000 potatoes,

186
00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,360
so don't be shy.

187
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:00,600
Mm.

188
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,520
That's it, Martin, don't be shy.

189
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,480
Ow.

190
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:08,960
Gibby, nice?

191
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,280
Gibby is nice?

192
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,440
Er, the food, do you like the taste?

193
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:16,080
Mm, this is a difficult question.

194
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,880
Really? Why?

195
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,560
Because there is no taste.

196
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,600
And you're staying here how long?

197
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,160
For the five nights.

198
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,080
Oh, yes, the five nights.

199
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,040
Actually, Jackie, the
taste that is the best for me

200
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,080
is the taste of the cream tea.

201
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,680
Bloody hell.

202
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:36,320
You know, with the scone
and the cream.

203
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,200
Um, yeah, love.

204
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,920
And the jam of the
berries of the straw.

205
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:40,720
Strawberry jam.

206
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,840
So, we are getting the
cream tea now, ja?

207
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,200
Now?  Er, not now, Gibby,
OK? Maybe tomorrow?

208
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,480
Hmmm?

209
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,680
This is a tragedy.

210
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,160
WHISPERS:  Five nights.

211
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,880
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, Jim?  Obviously.

212
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,520
Obviously.  Hmmm?

213
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,440
Nothing. What do you want?

214
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,400
Er.

215
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,800
Great.

216
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,960
Um, I must apologise,

217
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:16,080
but I think I left
something in your house,

218
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,840
you know, when I was here earlier.

219
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,120
Really? What?

220
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,840
How's Gibby?

221
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,680
Erm, fine.

222
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,120
What did you lose, Jim?
Where's Gibby?

223
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,080
She's in the dining room.
What did you lose?

224
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:33,400
Yes, I lost it in the dining room.

225
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,760
No, you didn't lose
it in the dining room

226
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,400
because you didn't go in
the dining room, remember?

227
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,720
You were just here.

228
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,120
Yes, well, maybe the
thing that I lost...

229
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,760
..it rolled all the way from here

230
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,360
into the dining room.

231
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,480
OK, and the thing that you lost was?

232
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,120
A marble.  Of course it was.

233
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,000
Yes, it was a particularly
round marble

234
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:05,080
because it rolled all the
way from here to remain...

235
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,280
Jim?  ..here.

236
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,080
Hello, all.  Pissing heck.

237
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,600
Oh, hi, Jim.

238
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,200
Jim's lost a pretend marble.

239
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,000
Pretend marble?  Real marble.

240
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:17,800
Huh?

241
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,960
Hello...

242
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,560
..Gibby.

243
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:23,920
Jim.

244
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,160
JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY

245
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,640
Is that all, Jim, or..?

246
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,560
Um, oh, yes.

247
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:31,800
Actually, no.

248
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,640
There is something I need
to talk to Gibby about.

249
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,800
Really?  Um...

250
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,160
..Switzerland.

251
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,800
Mm-hmm.

252
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,520
Well, thanks, Jim, so
if you could...

253
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,160
JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY

254
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,520
Martin?

255
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,080
Come on, Jim.
GIBBY LAUGHS

256
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,480
Come on.

257
00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:00,600
Right.  Argh.

258
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:01,800
My God.

259
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,480
Erm, sorry about him, Gibby.

260
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:05,720
He is a nice man?

261
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,080
Hm.  Um.  He has the fat legs?

262
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,480
What?  I'm sorry?  Fat legs?

263
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,800
Because the man I was with,
I am having to finish with him

264
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,640
because he has the fat legs.

265
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,680
So, normal reasons, then.

266
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,640
Jackie, you think Jim
has the fat legs?

267
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,480
Er, I wouldn't really
know that, love.

268
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,720
GIBBY MOANS ANXIOUSLY

269
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,520
Nearly broke my bleeding back.

270
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,520
GIBBY MOANS

271
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,000
Everything all right, there, Gibby?

272
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,960
She's thinking about the fat legs.

273
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,920
The fat legs?

274
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,440
Um.  You OK, love?

275
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,920
I am just remembering living in the
house with the Goodman family.

276
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:50,520
It is the happiest
time in the life for Gibby.

277
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,080
Ah, sweetie.

278
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:56,400
Sometimes I wished
you was my family.

279
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,960
GIBBY SOBS

280
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,000
Oh, come here, love.

281
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,560
Don't be sad.

282
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,480
CRIES:  Ja-ck-ie!

283
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:13,360
Jackie, there is only one
thing in the world that can make me

284
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,320
feel happy in this moment.

285
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,280
Really? And what's that?

286
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,600
I mean, it's ridiculous.

287
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,560
Going for a cream tea
halfway through dinner?

288
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,120
Who wants to bloody do that?

289
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,400
I want to bloody do that.

290
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,240
That's cos you'll eat
anything at any time.

291
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,120
Yeah, is there anything
you won't eat, ever?

292
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,640
Erm, wasps?

293
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,240
Oh, hurry up with the facilities.

294
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,640
You OK, Gibby?

295
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,840
I am now re-emptied.

296
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,640
Mazeltov. Let's go.

297
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,520
Oh, crab. What are you doing there?

298
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:52,600
Oh, just looking for my
very round marble.

299
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,000
Hello, Gibby.

300
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,480
Hello, the Jim.

301
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,360
Well, we're just
popping out now, so...

302
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,480
Oh, where are you "popping" to?

303
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,320
WHISPERS: Don't tell him.

304
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,240
We go to the old hotel Welmsley
to have the cream tea.

305
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,720
You put cream in your tea?

306
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,000
It's a creamy tea?

307
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,120
Goodbye.

308
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,800
Oh, I forget.

309
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,280
Gibby.

310
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,520
Oh-oh-oh!

311
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,800
Hmmm.

312
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,200
Gibby fancies Jim.

313
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,800
Well, here we are.

314
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,800
Oh, my mouth is very excited
for the taste of the cream tea.

315
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,600
Is your mouths very excited
for the taste of the cream tea?

316
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,760
Oh, yes,
we all have very excited mouths.

317
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,800
And now I must use the facilities.

318
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,400
Bloody hell.

319
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,200
Can't we just dump her
here for five nights?

320
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,040
What? The hotel or the car park?

321
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,320
Either will do.

322
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,560
Come on.

323
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:13,040
Wait. That's Bradley.

324
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:13,680
Bradley?

325
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,800
It is. I haven't seen him for about
40 years.

326
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,440
We went to school together.

327
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,240
Oh, God...
HE GASPS

328
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,760
He's lost an arm.

329
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,440
Poor Bradley.

330
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,440
Oh, dear.

331
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,320
Erm, excuse me.

332
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,840
I don't believe it!
It's Martin bloody Goodman.

333
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,360
That's right!

334
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,240
Hello, Bradley.

335
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:32,320
Er, Neville.

336
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:33,920
Oh, yes, I meant Neville.

337
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,440
Erm, Shirley, this is Martin.
We went to school together.

338
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,840
Lovely to meet you.

339
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,960
Oh, yes, this is my family.

340
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,040
The wife.

341
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,480
And, er, the children.

342
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:44,800
Thank you.

343
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,200
You know, lads, me and your dad got
up to no end of mischief at school.

344
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,720
Really?  Did you?

345
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,920
Remember old Hasting's car,
when we let down all his tyres?

346
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,880
What? No.

347
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:55,800
Yeah, by the main hall.

348
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,440
And we did Miss Gant's tyres.

349
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,320
Did we?

350
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,880
And Mr Dudley's tyres.
Don't you remember?  Erm...

351
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:02,800
He doesn't have the best memory.

352
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,600
He hasn't got a memory!

353
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,600
Er, by the way, I'm so sorry.
When, er...

354
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,880
When did that happen?

355
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,800
When did what happen?

356
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:13,720
Your arm.

357
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,760
My arm?  His arm?

358
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,760
Are you joking or something?

359
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,320
Sorry?  I didn't have an arm when I
knew you.

360
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,200
- Oh, God.
Didn't you?

361
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,560
No. I was born without an arm.

362
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:24,880
Shit. I must have forgot.

363
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,440
Er...

364
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,320
Um... Well, nice to have met you
all.

365
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,880
Yeah, really nice.

366
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,120
You've never had an arm?

367
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,280
Goodbye, Martin.

368
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,960
Yeah, see you, Bradley.

369
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,440
Neville.

370
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,240
Well, that wasn't the most

371
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,520
embarrassing conversation of all
time.  Yeah, well done, dad.

372
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,160
Fancy not remembering
he didn't have an arm!

373
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,920
All right.
I remembered he didn't have a tail.

374
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,240
Martin!

375
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,600
Hello, all.
THEY ALL GROAN

376
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:55,440
Is this the right place for a
creamy tea?

377
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,440
Ooh! Oh, Jim! Oh, no!

378
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,760
Naughty Mr Metal Spoon is coming
back for more!

379
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,040
No, Jim, no!

380
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:04,880
Please make it stop.

381
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,840
CLATTERING

382
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,800
Erm, five cream teas?

383
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,840
Thank God.

384
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,080
There you are.

385
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,040
And one...

386
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,360
..creamy...tea.

387
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:24,680
Ahh, creamy tea.

388
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:30,080
HE GROWLS SOFTLY

389
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,200
Lovely and thick.

390
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:38,360
25 years I am
waiting for the delicious cream tea.

391
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,760
Well, I hope you enjoy
it as much as you used to.

392
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,520
I hope so also, Jackie.

393
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,640
Very much.

394
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,760
Well?  Well?

395
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,200
Oh...  Gibby?

396
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,880
The cream is just too much sweet.

397
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,720
The jam, it is too much not sweet.

398
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,760
And the scone...

399
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:02,720
SHE SNIFFS

400
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,400
It is smelly.

401
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,680
"Smelly"?

402
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,680
SHE SOBS

403
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:17,840
JIM SLURPS LOUDLY

404
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,560
Well, this is terrific.

405
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,240
Oh, come on, Gibby, come out now.

406
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,560
I do not never come out.

407
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,880
What a shame.

408
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,280
What are we meant to do?

409
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,560
Nothing. She just spends the next
five nights locked in a hotel bog.

410
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,320
Yup.  Where's your father?

411
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,760
Er, he's just finishing his five
cream teas.

412
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,040
SHE SIGHS

413
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,000
Oh, come out, will you?

414
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,680
Jackie, I've finished my creamy tea

415
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,880
and now I'm all ready to
liberate Gibby.

416
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,400
You're going to liberate Gibby,
are you, Jim?

417
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,120
Yes, Jackie.

418
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,000
Right. And what are you going to do?
Kick the door down?

419
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,840
Erm...

420
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,600
Stand back, please.

421
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,600


422
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,040


423
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,040


424
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,520


425
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,360


426
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,000

side

427
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,640

therefore

428
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,920


429
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:34,840
DOOR OPENS

430
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,760
Thank you, Jim.

431
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,120
It is beautiful.

432
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,000
We're going.

433
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,920
What do you mean we're going?
Don't ask.

434
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,240
I've still got another three
cream teas to get through.

435
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,200
Come on.  Jackie!

436
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,200
Come on!

437
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,040
I'm sorry, Martin.

438
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,520
The girl's too much.
She's just too much.

439
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,040
Hm?  Ugh! Martin!

440
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,880
Dad...  What?

441
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,840
Your tyres?

442
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,680
Oh, crap.

443
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,000
I wonder who did that?

444
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,840
Neville sodding Bradley git.

445
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,760
Right, well, here we are, then, Jim.

446
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,600
Yes, here we are.

447
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,120
Not you.

448
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,960
Oh, Jim is not here?

449
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,160
No, he's just had to pop home and...

450
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,680
Make love to his dog.

451
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:35,640
Ow!

452
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,880
Gibby is so sad without Jim.

453
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,280
Yes, well, I'm sure you'll survive.

454
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,600
Why don't you come and have a nice
little sit-down in the living room?

455
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,760
On the own?

456
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,480
That's right - on the own.

457
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,920
Mum?

458
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,200
Upstairs.

459
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,720
Ooh, what about this place?

460
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,000
Martin, you've shown me
that place five times already.

461
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,880
It's fully booked.  All right.

462
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,680
Isn't it a bit mean to just stick
her in a hotel for the weekend?

463
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,000
Boys, it's only a couple of nights.

464
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,080
This place?
Oh, my God, it's the same place!

465
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,400
Right, move. I'm doing it.

466
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,360
SHE SIGHS

467
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,280
Boys, please give your
father Internet lessons.

468
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,200
Bloody Internet.

469
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,160
There's got to be somewhere
near that's got a room.

470
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,440
That place looks all right.

471
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,680
Does it look all right?

472
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,000
"I found a rat in my room."

473
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,520
The London Rat Hotel.

474
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,080
Oh, shit.

475
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,440
You know, we're the ones
that should be staying in a hotel,

476
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,880
Jackie, not old Giblet features.

477
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,280
Ha-ha!

478
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,400
Having a bit of time to ourselves.

479
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,480
Dad!

480
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:38,880
Having a bit of nippy-nippy.

481
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,520
Argh!  Oh, my God, you're animals!

482
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,640
Oh, just go downstairs, then,
if you don't like it.

483
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,480
We don't like it.  Yeah.

484
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,600
Enjoy your five nights here with
Gibby-Gibby and no nippy-nippy.

485
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,000
Sods.

486
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,520
I mean...
JIM:  Gibby!

487
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,520
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, Casanova's back.

488
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,560
MUSIC PLAYS

489
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,680
Terrific evening.

490
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,120
And jump!

491
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,920
Er, Jonny?  What?

492
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,880
Er, why are Mum and Dad driving off
in your car?

493
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,720
Oi!  Mum? Dad?  Hey!

494
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,440
Come back!

495
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,360
Where are they bloody going?!  Right!

496
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,440
What's going on?! Adam?

497
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,400
What's that?
Obviously they're not answering.

498
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,280
The shits.  "Found a room in a
rat-free hotel. Back late Sunday."

499
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:47,840
Oh, my God!  The shits!

500
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,880
"Please look after Gibby."

501
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,800
They want us to look after Gibby?!
Bastards!

502
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,760
What's dad put here? Oh,
"Two words, - nippy-nippy."

503
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,600
Nice touch.  I can't believe it.

504
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,920
They've just dumped us
here with bloody...  Hello?

505
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,200
The mother and the father,
they is gone?

506
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,160
Er, they've just had to go
away for a couple of days, Gibby.

507
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,480
Yeah.

508
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,120
But...who will look after Gibby?

509
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,520
BOTH:  We will look after Gibby.

510
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,560
Can we do some more erotic dancing,
now, Gibby?

511
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,880
Jim, I am thinking we have the
upstairs of the house

512
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,720
to ourselves tonight.

513
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:25,920
Oh, God.

514
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,600
Maybe we can be having some fun.

515
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,000
Ooh, Gibby...

516
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,320
Ahh... Ahh!

517
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,640
Er...

518
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:38,440
You are liking what you are seeing?

519
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,000
Oh, yes, Gibby.

520
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,800
Guys...

521
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,400
Maybe you are liking to see
some more?

522
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,360
HE BREATHES RAPIDLY

523
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:54,480
Wolves! Wolves!

524
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,520
HE WHIMPERS

525
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,120
HE SCREAMS

526
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,800
Oh...

527
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:02,840
Oh.

528
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,360
I use the facilities.

529
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:10,560

this place

530
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,200


531
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,920


532
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,360


533
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,480

this place

534
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,920

I'm still an animal...

535
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,960
Subtitles by Red Bee Media